My husband is from Utah. His background is Mormon, but his practice is not. If you can find a non practicing Mormon....marry them....marry them quick! Do not leave this one on the table! He is loyal, hardworking, family centered (almost to a fault) and mostly doesn't complain....which leads me to a very important fact; he has never ever called me a bad name to my face nor taken to swearing at me. (okay there was that one time about 20 years ago...). I'm not saying he hasn't thought those nasty things about me, but as a steadfast upright guy, he never would say them to me. Which brings me to.....
This past December. My family and I alternate hosting the Christmas holiday gathering. The requirements of the host is to provide all the food, drink and festivities. Given that I want my guests to feel comfortable, fed and happy, I put a bit of pressure on myself. Usually I don't freak out over how the house looks, if the food presentation is Martha Stewart standard nor care if I have matching servingware. I do get a little tense as people are arriving and also while coordinating the meal to be hot/cold/whipped/unplated/plated/etc. at the same time. Earlier in the day my husband was making a lot of testy crappy comments under his breath as he tends to do the "before the event" freakout. A mixture of both climates caused the temperature between us to be icy at best. Luckily, my husband changed his attitude and mood through the help of a bottle or two of wine. He came to me in the kitchen, ready to make amends and see if he could make me feel less tense. His intention was to tell me that he was sorry that he contributed to the tension. Well, that is what he SAID his intention was. Here is the exact scene:Comes into the kitchen...I'm at the stove with a spoon stirring a cream sauce. He puts his arms around me, looks me in the eyes and says "Hey, I'm so sorry you are such a bitch".
Oh, my. He has a look of horror on his face, not only because of what came out of his mouth but what will shortly come out of mine (I have NO qualms of swearing and calling him names). In that instant however, I drop the spoon and double over in laughter. I laugh harder than maybe I ever have in my entire life. I figured it all out in a nano second.....what he meant to say, how horrified he is at what he did say, and how delighted I will be to tell the story, which I promptly did to the entire cast of family in the front room. I'm still laughing about it a month later and he still feels bad about it. It did seem to me to be a tale with a insightful moral. Sometimes it's just words and frustration and means less than the burnt cream sauce I was stirring on the stove at the time..
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