So I found a bed bug in our house. Yes, as much as I tried to deny it and frantically searched the internet for an insect that I might possibly have mistaken the creature for, I had to finally face the reality. There is no creature that resembles closely enough to where there's any possibility of mistaken identity. The closest insect I could find was your common wood tic. To my knowledge, I've never had a tic invade my body. From what I gathered in my online research regarding bed bugs, I'd much rather welcome the intrusion from a tic. Tics are easier to spot once they engorge themselves on your blood. They are not a big deal to remove, and once squashed, they are gone for good with no fear of their incubating offspring waiting to hatch and launch an assault in legions. Bed bugs, on the other hand, are breeders of the worst kind. Once a culprit is spotted, even once removed, there is the risk that hatchlings are left behind to carry on the blood-sucking legacy of their parents. As a kid I remember hearing references to these critters, and who hasn't heard the expression "Good night – don't let the bed bugs bite." In my mind I always shelved bed bugs along with the boogeyman, cooties or the even the ever-popular chupacabra, which originates with our Latin American friends. I never took any of these childhood threats very seriously. It always seemed like something adults made up and perpetuated to… well to… umm… I really have no idea why such nonsense was so widely popularized amongst our youth.
Well now I can tell you that the bed bug is a very real threat in today's world. We hear about them in the news as they are reportedly plaguing even the 5 star hotels, where the biggest fear of hotel stays used to be only the threat of former guests' bodily discharges. Retailers now carry an impressive line of early detection monitors along with sprays and traps for these monsters. As I understand it, none of these products are really very effective, but I'm sure marketers have opportunistically jumped on the band wagon, taking full advantage of consumer' fears. Bed bugs are extremely difficult to locate. They come out at night as you sleep and, like mosquitoes, they are attracted by the carbon dioxide we as humans emit as we exhale. These little vampires creep on us, inject us with an anesthetizing agent that renders their prey helplessly oblivious to the puncture of its mandibular, which is what's used to suck blood from their victim. Once sated these little suckers retreat again to the tiniest little crevasses and creases near your bed. Sounds pretty gross huh?
We have dropped some cash and took the precautions that any semi-informed and desperate consumer might do when suddenly faced with a bed bug infestation. I'm happy to repo
rt that since we spotted this culprit in our home back in February after I had done some traveling to Haiti and other places, we have not seen another bug. Perhaps it was an isolated case – perhaps a renegade hitchhiker on my luggage. Still once bitten, forever shy.I still occasionally find myself searching the bed; flipping off the covers quickly at the slightest sensation of a wayward leg hair or spontaneous itch. Sometimes I feel an itch on my scalp. These are all perfectly normal occurrences that I never used to give a second thought. Why is it that such a tiny critter can create such a major frenzy?
