Friday, October 28, 2022

Follow your Joy

I've been seeing a consistent sentiment in a number of places lately. All takes on "follow your Joy". It always makes me laugh, as, truth be told my real name is Joy. It has come in handy for many a witty retort - "Its a JOY to meet you" and also a few salacious moments (Here's looking at you high school boys who wore "spread the joy" christmas buttons).  

I got to thinking though... what does "follow your joy" really mean.  It's a bit creepy thinking people are going to literally stalk me, but let's look at it the more wholesome way. If you truly want to follow your joy, why don't you try following my best self?  Here are some tips:

1. Stop thinking everything is a conspiracy against you. Most things just are. Embrace Occam's razor - the simplest explanation is usually the best one. 

2. Hone your critical thinking skills. Hopefully you wouldn't eat a pile of shit if a celebrity or influencer told you it was good for you, why would you listen to them when it comes to your health, your wealth and your views?

3.  Stop assigning traits and values to other people, especially through social media.  How about you have conversations with people and really listen.  I know it's hard, especially with someone you believe is ill-informed, or has a radical, very negative view. But go with me on this one, sometimes by not trying to prove your point, you can find some common ground, or at the very least be a reminder of what resonableness looks like. Remember Proverbs 26:4 (Yea I had to look it up too) "Do not answer a fool according to his folly or you yourself will be just like him"

4. Before you attack someone getting something you won't or someone who doesn't look like you wanting to be embraced by society, ask yourself this question. "WHAT IN THE HELL DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH ME?"  Usually nothing.  Trust me, you'll be fine.

5. Love.  Thats it, just love people. Extend love to everyone everywhere.

6. Gratitude. Be thankful. Most of you who will read this have warm beds, fully tummys and people who love you.  That makes you richer than many.

There is more, but I don't expect follow your joy means eat meals of 1 salami, 2 olives and a pickle or care not for fashion.  Maybe all of this can come down to one basic rule... Just don't be a dick.

Thank you and good day to you!

Wednesday, June 22, 2022

Absence apparently does make the heart grow fonder or How I remembered that I actually had a blog....

It has been a few years, okay 6, since I've put keyboard to paper.  My partner in rhymes is doing some big things with his writing but I'm sure some day he'll find his way back. 

I'm called today not for a catchup, or to share a point of view, but more of necessity.  It helps, when you don't know who to go to, and you don't really want the kindness of strangers, to share in a fairly anonymous and off the beaten path way.  So I've gathered you all - me, myself and I - to talk about grief.

What a piece of crap thing that is? Amirite? You loose someone dear, you have the rememberances, you celebrate all the firsts, first bday without them, first holiday and so on.  You get to the 2 year mark and you somehow move on with life.  You go 3 years, and while you miss someone so much, you still live your life and revel happily in all the stories that they've left you with.I have a theory that the hole or space that they leave behind is filled with memories, the love they had for you, and a constant filling of "wish they were here" and "they would have loved this".  

So, or Sos as my remaining sibling would say, you move on, you grow, you sometimes remember to cherish where you are, and how you got there.  Moving along just fine...until one day, one week, you are brought to your knees with a heart ache so deep and painful that it makes you feel as if you cannot cope and maybe even cannot breath.  The tears come, the rage, the hopelessness, the utter and debilitating sadness.  Closing your eyes, wishing it all to be a horrible nightmare, and not wanting to open them again because you know, it is real.  

It takes time to shift it, tell yourself this means you were well loved and loved well.  Hearing the voice of your loved one, most likely telling you to get over yourself and get back to life.

I so desparately want to reach out to someone who would understand, who would listen, but who also would only let me lay in my shit for so long before they told me to "knock it off".  The hardest part is the one who would do that....is the one I am grieving for.

So thank you little blog - reading through you today brought back so many good memories, and reminded me of the wonderful friend I have that wrote this with me, and gave me the opportunity to focus my grief and help me, at least in some small part, make it less painful.

Oh and most of the people I know also thank you - they won't have to do deal with this!