Revolving Door Etiquette...

Everyone knows that it's polite and good-mannered to hold open a door for somebody, particularly if you are a male, walking through the same doorway as a female at about the same time. It must be a dying practice, because whenever I demonstrate the courtesy, I always get a very thankful reaction, more so than if it were a regularly exercised tradition. It's almost as though it is not quite expected, or at least a rare occurrence.

Whenever I hold a door to let a lady pass through before I do, I generally receive something like "Well, thank you so much!".  I guess if the gesture wasn't acknowledged at all, I'd feel a bit put off too. But to me it is more ingrained as part of my upbringing. I even extend this courtesy to men, depending on the circumstances. It would be strange, I suppose, to hold a door open for a man, allowing him to pass through before I do.  However, I will not let the door slam in another guy's face if he is approaching and within spitting distance of me. Also, if there is a family, say entering a restaurant or theater, I will hold the door, if my family is not completely assembled yet. It's interesting - with a man, if you enter a space that has an outer door leading into a foyer space with an adjacent door, the first man to open the door will almost always find that the gesture will invariably be reciprocated when passing through the second set of inside doors. You held for me, so I will hold for you. Actually, I find the whole dance a bit awkward.

Elevators can be awkward too. Do you allow all the women to enter/exit first?  Is this determined by age/gender?  Often, I think this can also be dictated by whether or not a passenger's arms are full of parcels, if they have a baby stroller, if their party outnumbers yours, and obviously if you find yourself in the back or front of the elevator. And why do so many people who enter an elevator on a floor after you've gotten on and pressed the button for the lobby, feel the need to over-press the button? It's almost as if saying, you possibly couldn't have pressed that lobby button anywhere near as well as I just did. There is really enough material here for another whole blog post.  Maybe I will let that simmer for a bit, or pass it off to my good friend, Zep, the other Whine Press contributor.

Now I have to talk about revolving doors. I have no idea if there is a prescribed or proper etiquette for revolving doors. I guess when I approach simultaneously with somebody else, regardless of gender, I feel it most gentlemanly to allow that person to enter the building first. What makes revolvers tricky is that they require a little work. The courtesy here relies on who is doing the brunt of that work. Now you can seem courteous by allowing a person to go in front of you into the first open section.  But this can be extremely discourteous, if you then allowed that person to push the door around, while you just kept your hands in your pockets, wishing they'd only push faster. But you can also be the first to enter and at the same time, allow the people following you to do the pushing, while you are wishing they'd put a little more back into it.

Still, I usually opt for letting the other person enter first. I think you have the most control then.  And then, we have a revolving door down the street at a Marriott Hotel that has a huge tri-partitioned separation. This door is really weird because not only is each sector cavernous enough to accommodate 2 or 3 people, but it is driven by a powerful motor, activated automatically by a sensor.  Again... could be another post for this baby.

Now what about public buses?  Do you agree with my thinking in that if you are forced to stand for the duration of the ride, if all the seats are taken, that all standing, should be allowed to exit the bus first, before anybody whose had the luxury of being seated, texting and reading for the whole ride?  Apparently, there are very different feelings about this disembarkation protocol too. It seems when it comes to buses, there is very little sense of any real protocol, courtesy or etiquette.  Dog-eat-dog is the order.  I've never written a post, where out of it sprang forth so much potential and new ideas for subsequent posts...
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Can I Vent About Lent?

Last Wednesday, March 5th, marked the first day of Lent. Now this period in the Christian calendar begins with Ash Wednesday, it runs the 40 days that lead up to Easter Sunday and is a time that is traditionally set aside as a preparation of the believer through prayer, penance, repentance of sins, atonement and self-denial. Its institutional purpose is heightened in the annual commemoration of Holy Week, marking the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus, which recalls the tradition and events of the New Testament, climaxing on Jesus' crucifixion on Good Friday, and ultimately culminates in the joyful celebration on Easter Sunday of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Now those who know me, also know that I'm a Christian. I believe in practicing the faith and putting it into action. I believe in the prescribed traditions and adherence to the practices outlined above, though not a means to salvation, are an important spiritual discipline that can serve to enhance one's Christian walk.

Now I was raised Catholic and I'm quite familiar with the doctrines, traditions and expectations of the Catholic church. I never fully embraced the Catholic faith, but had, more or less, tolerated the dogmatic and rigid doctrines that were imposed on me by my parents. In fact, it caused me to lapse, for a period, into agnosticism or worse. I just can't follow a course of tradition that, to me are not logical and seemingly prods many devotees to the faith out of a sense of guilt and knee-jerk conditioning.

I'm trying desperately to communicate this in way that does not offend Catholics, but I fear that I'm not doing a very good job. I know many Catholics who are very devoted Christians. On the other hand, there are too many self proclaimed "Christians" who do not have the slightest inkling who Christ is, and what He stands for.

Proclaiming myself now to be a Christian might seem at first blush, a contradiction in terms, or even hypocritical, in light of my views on the Catholic church. A Christian is one who is follower of Christ. This is pretty plain and simple.  I believe that Jesus Christ is everything He says that He is... Son of God, creator of all that exists, He did physically defeat death and is our only means to eternal life. Am I sinner?  Absolutely. But I am covered by grace, and only through faith. Will I continue to sin? Absolutely - it is the unfortunate condition of a fallen world and a by-product of our human condition in these bodies we occupy.

My problem with Lent is all the chatter that I hear beginning on Ash Wednesday about what will be given up for the six week period. I've heard a lot of talk in the office and on the street about not eating meat, giving up sugar, television, coffee. I saw people proudly strutting around with ashes on their foreheads as a reminder that their present physical bodies are failing, that they came from dust and will hence return. I wonder...are they really considering this? I saw ashes being dispensed at the train station where I commute to Chicago every morning. Ashes on the go? Really?  I'm not saying that this can't be deeply meaningful and significant acts for some, but to many, it is simply the thing that you do if you're a "Good Catholic".  But what would Jesus say about all this?  I have a pretty good idea about that:

True fasting according to Isaiah 58:

The Lord says to them, “The truth is that at the same time you fast, you pursue your own interests and oppress your workers. ⁴ Your fasting makes you violent, and you quarrel and fight. Do you think this kind of fasting will make me listen to your prayers? ⁵ When you fast, you make yourselves suffer; you bow your heads low like a blade of grass and spread out sackcloth and ashes to lie on. Is that what you call fasting? Do you think I will be pleased with that?
⁶ “The kind of fasting I want is this: Remove the chains of oppression and the yoke of injustice, and let the oppressed go free. ⁷ Share your food with the hungry and open your homes to the homeless poor. Give clothes to those who have nothing to wear, and do not refuse to help your own relatives.
⁸ “Then my favor will shine on you like the morning sun, and your wounds will be quickly healed. I will always be with you to save you; my presence will protect you on every side. ⁹ When you pray, I will answer you. When you call to me, I will respond.
“If you put an end to oppression, to every gesture of contempt, and to every evil word; ¹⁰ if you give food to the hungry and satisfy those who are in need, then the darkness around you will turn to the brightness of noon. ¹¹ And I will always guide you and satisfy you with good things. I will keep you strong and well. You will be like a garden that has plenty of water, like a spring of water that never goes dry.


Or, if you want to give something up for Lent, here is a list of 20 things you might consider:

1. Guilt – I am loved by Jesus and he has forgiven my sins. Today is a new day and the past is behind.
2. Fear – God is on my side. In him I am more than a conqueror. (see Romans 8) 
3. The need to please everyone – I can’t please everyone anyways. There is only one I need to strive to please.
4. Envy – I am blessed. My value is not found in my possessions, but in my relationship with my Heavenly Father.
5. Impatience – God’s timing is the perfect timing.
6. Sense of entitlement – The world does not owe me anything. God does not owe me anything. I live in humility and grace.
7. Bitterness and Resentment – The only person I am hurting by holding on to these is myself.
8. Blame – I am not going to pass the buck. I will take responsibility for my actions.
9. Gossip and Negativity – I will put the best construction on everything when it comes to other people. I will also minimize my contact with people who are negative and toxic bringing other people down.
10. Comparison – I have my own unique contribution to make and there is no one else like me.
11. Fear of failure – You don’t succeed without experiencing failure. Just make sure you fail forward.
12. A spirit of poverty – Believe with God that there is always more than enough and never a lack
13. Feelings of unworthiness – You are fearfully and wonderfully made by your creator. (see Psalm 139)
14. Doubt – Believe God has a plan for you that is beyond anything you could imagine. The future is brighter than you could ever realize.
15. Self-pity – God comforts us in our sorrow so that we can comfort others with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.
16. Retirement – As long as you are still breathing, you are here for a reason. You have a purpose to influence others for Christ. That does not come to an end until the day we die.
17. Excuses – A wise man once said, if you need an excuse, any excuse will do.
18. Lack of counsel – Wise decisions are rarely made in a vacuum.
19. Pride – Blessed are the humble.
20. Worry – God is in control and worrying will not help.

Finding warmth when old man winter's come to stay

It has been a very brutal winter here in the land of Lincoln. At this point in most years we've seen a few glimpses of the spring to come that makes it easier to endure the last gasps of old man winter as he goes down fighting. This year he is determined to keep his dukes up and pummel us into within an inch of our sanity.  It's no use looking to mother nature to save us, we must rely on other things.

The most reliable source of warmth, as always, is the warmth of family and friends.  Spending time laughing and sharing stories with a friend is a source of heat that not only warms you during the contact but also when you think about the moment and memories.  Reflecting on this past week I am remembering all the warmth that will sustain me through the coming weeks when papa winter reprimands me with a biting wind and frosty temperature. These moments seem insignificant if you look at them one by one, but when aggregated create a blanket that comforts and takes away the chill of any day.

Just off the top of my head:

The morning "paid my dues" bus ride connecting, laughing and understanding
The executive ladies night out networking that included a drive filled with laughter and meeting up with old friends and old stories
The staff member who lost a friend and needed a hug (and got one)
The glass of wine at the end of the day with a friend who has been dealing with a very sick spouse that turned into a giggle fest
The breakfast with an adult child and her unbridled hysteria laugh
The phone call with a sibling that has nothing of substance but induces huge smiles

All of these moments are small and easily missed.  I wonder when people say what a rotten week they had if they took time to remember all the small good moments. Uncomfortable times sometimes set in and stay longer than we like, such as this winter, but even in the worst times there are beautiful moments.

I hope you find yours and that you hold on to the hope of spring!